Networking - it is one of those words that people often cringe about. For some, it invokes images of stiff handshakes, forced small talk, and awkward attempts to exchange business cards. Whether you are a student, professional, or entrepreneur, networking is a necessary skill to help you create opportunities, engage in collaboration, and form relationships that last lifetimes.
The fact is, networking does not need to feel fake and awkward. When done well, networking can feel as legitimate as having an interactive conversation with someone you actually want to engage with. So how do you learn the art of networking without being awkward? Let's dive into some ways to think about it.
- Shift Your Mindset: From “What Can I Get?” to “How Can I Help?”
People often feel uncomfortable about networking because they regard it as transactional; as if they are engaging in a business transaction where they are required to "sell" themselves. This stance places undue weight on the interaction. Rather, think in terms of curiosity and generosity.
Instead, begin by asking yourself how do I create value for this other person—this may be through sharing a helpful resource, making an introduction, or simply being present and listening mindfully. When the goal is about building true relationships rather than sharing contact information, it is much more comfortable and relevant to everyone involved.
- Master the Art of Small Talk Without Making It Shallow
While people often complain about small talk, it serves as an important entry point into deeper conversations. Just make sure to keep it light but also engaging. Instead of overused questions such as “What do you do?”, consider asking engaging conversation starters that inspire authentic conversation:
“What brought you here today?”
“What is a project you are really excited about right now?”
“I’d love to hear your perspective on [topic relevant to the event].”
These types of questions encourage the other individual to share what they’re excited about, instead of simply responding with a job title, and will often lead you to find a point of connection.
- Be Mindful of Body Language
Before you even say a word, your body often communicates. If you are cross-armed, looking away, or fidgeting with your fingers, you might project disinterest or nervousness unintentionally.
Instead, try to practice open body language:
- Maintain comfortable eye contact.
- Smile with genuine joy (rather than with a forced "networking smile").
- Lean in a little to indicate your interest.
- If you are able, extend a firm but friendly handshake. Apply this only if appropriate in your culture.
These behavioral signals will help to relax the other person and boost your confidence.
- Have Your “Elevator Pitch”—But Keep It Human
Absolutely, it's beneficial to have a straightforward method for introducing who you are, but try not to make it sound like you've rehearsed it beforehand. An effective elevator pitch will communicate who you are, what you do, and what you're passionate about - all in about 30 seconds.
For example:
"I help small businesses grow online by putting together digital marketing strategies that make this somewhat overwhelming process easier. I am currently overseeing a campaign for a local non-profit and it has been very rewarding."
This is not only a way to introduce your role, but it also provides the other person with an immediate story to establish a connection.
- Learn the Art of Listening
Many people consider networking to be about talking, but in truth listening is your superpower. Instead of thinking about your next response, pay close attention to what the other person is saying. Nod, ask follow-up questions, and generally show that you are interested.
People will remember how you made them feel more than what you said. By being a good listener, you will immediately separate yourself from those who dominate the interaction with self-promotion.
- Follow Up Without Feeling Pushy
The networking process doesn’t stop when the event ends. The really important part is follow-up. Send a short email or LinkedIn message in a few days that thanks the person for the discussion and mentions a specific topic that was important to both of you.
For example:
“Hi [Name], I really enjoyed our conversation about your new project in sustainable design at [event]. I would love to keep in touch with you and hear how it develops! Here is the article I mentioned on eco-friendly materials; I thought you might enjoy it.”
This type of thoughtful outreach indicates you appreciated the conversation and is a good way to keep the connection alive.
- Practice, Don’t Pressure
Just like any skill, networking improves with practice. You can start small—talk with someone new at work, speak to someone at a workshop, or join online professional networks. Each time you engage with someone builds your confidence and helps you learn to connect naturally.
Also, it is important to keep in mind that not all connections will lead to job offers or partnerships. Sometimes, the value is in the conversation or planting a seed for a possible opportunity in the future.
Key Takeaways
Networking should not be stressful or a series of painful, awkward moments. When you reframe your thoughts on networking to focus on genuine connections, remain curious, and practice active listening, it can be fun and beneficial.
Networking is not about networking cards or building your Linkedin connections. It is about creating quality relationships that enhance, support, and inspire you throughout your entire career.
So, the next time you are at a networking event, remember to be yourself, remain curious, and seek connections rather than perfection; the rest will fall into place.
